The Devil's Doppelganger
by Kennie Gajos
Summary: Everyone's got one... even the Devil himself. Lucifer/Miranda crossover
1. Devilish Revelation

A brain worm that refused to go away. Started as a one-shot and grew into an actual story. Because, let's face it, Tom Ellis is hot no matter who he's playing.  
Lucifer/Miranda crossover. Unashamedly Deckerstar. Eventual Garanda.

Disclaimer:  
I own absolutely none of the rights to either Lucifer or Miranda. They're both owned by people who are far cleverer than I. This work has been created for my own amusement (and hopefully other people's too) and I make absolutely no money from it. Please don't sue me.

 **Devilish Revelation  
** (Dan finds a clue...) **  
**

Dan was bored. Usually he was too busy assisting any detective in the department who needed him to do legwork for them to get the chance to really appreciate being bored, but it was a slow week. The few homicide cases that had come in had been easily closed, and the all on-going cases were stalled. Consequently, everyone had their paperwork up to date, no-one had any work for him to do, and Dan had a chance to be properly bored for what felt like the first time in years. He was enjoying himself, feet up on his desk and coke in hand, as he caught up on his favourite Youtube feeds.

Funny Flash Mobs was probably scraping the bottom of the barrel, he decided sometime later; taking a swig of coke and leaning forward to look for something else as the video changed to a clip of formally dressed adults galloping across a park. Without horses. His attention snagged on an impossibly familiar face in the crowd and Dan forgot to swallow, leaning forward for a closer look. Was that…?

"Lucifer!" Coke sprayed over Dan's screen as Chloe called her partner to heel.

Shit! Speak of the devil…

Dan quickly paused the video and minimised his browser as he frantically wiped his computer down with his sleeve. He barely had time to throw himself back in his chair and grab the nearest file before the two of them rounded the corner to appear at his desk.

"Hey guys," Dan tried to sound casual as he greeted them, "What's up?"

"New case," Chloe told him, her eyes narrowing as she caught sight of the file in his hand. With a sinking feeling, Dan realised he was holding it upside down. "Victim was literally crucified."

"Nasty business," Lucifer commented, adjusting his cufflinks, "And I should know, I was there."

Dan and Chloe stared at him until he noticed.

"I refer of course to the original, not this particular crucifixion," explained Lucifer. "Obviously."

Dan rolled his eyes and tossed the file onto his desk before Chloe could comment on it. "What do you need?" he asked her.

"An identity," she told him, giving him her patented I-saw-what-you-just-did-don't-think-you-got-away-with-it look. "We need to know who our victim is before we can figure out why he ended up decorating a cross in Grand Park."

"We know why, Detective," Lucifer contradicted her. "Someone's making a statement. Crucifixion is always about the 'big statement'." The self-proclaimed Devil made air quotes around the words. "I mean," he scoffed, "Talk about showboating."

It was obvious he wasn't talking about the victim.

"Right," Chloe said slowly, before turning back to Dan. "Ella's got prints and DNA. She's expecting dentals from the ME."

"I'm on it," Dan promised, making sure he locked his computer before he got up.

As Dan made his way to Ella's lab, he couldn't resist one more longing look at the best lead he's ever had on Lucifer Morningstar. Too bad Chloe caught him doing it.


	2. Lamentations for the Devil

**Lamentations for the Devil**  
(Ella can't resist...)

At this late hour the homicide department was deserted. All apart from one desk. Detective Daniel Espinoza was following up on a lead.

It wasn't anything to do with a case. Well, not a homicide one anyway. Earlier, Dan had stumbled across a video of a flash mob galloping without horses. A flash mob that appeared to contain a certain Lucifer Morningstar, self-proclaimed Devil and Dan's ex's partner. In between working a case, Dan had found time to email the Youtube channel responsible for the compilation, leaning heavily on his LAPD credentials as he asked about the video's origins.

They'd replied just as he was about to clock off for the night, and he'd been combing through the original uploader's videos ever since. There werea **lot** of them, and they all seemed to star an awkwardly tall woman apparently called Kong. It was a goldmine of pratfalls, slapstick and embarrassing situations. Under normal circumstances Dan would've loved it, but he was too intent to properly appreciate its comedic value.

"Whatcha doing" a voice asked from behind him and Dan shrieked, his mouse skittering across the sticky screen as he jumped.

He comforted himself later with the thought that at least it was a manly shriek. It wasn't.

"Sorry, man," Ella apologised, "I didn't mean… Wait, is that… _Lucifer?"_

It was.

Somehow Dan's skittering mouse had selected a video of Kong, Lucifer, and a small blond woman being chased by a gaggle of geese. Dan and Ella stared at the screen, jaws dropped, for long moments before the absurdity of Lucifer (their Lucifer!) running from geese caught up with them and they both burst out laughing. Ice officially broken, Dan dragged a chair over for the forensic scientist as he quickly explained what he's found.

"You mean there's more?" asked Ella, wiping her eyes.

"Oh, yes!" gleefully, Dan pulled up the video that had started it all.

He kept talking as the video played, pointing out Lucifer in the back and Kong in the front. Then he had to explain Kong, and it wasn't until he glanced at Ella that he realised she was crying.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, hitting pause.

"Yeah," Ella croaked. "It's just," she sniffed and shot him a rueful look. "You'll think I'm crazy but sometimes, I kinda like thinking that Lucifer's actually the devil."

She blushed as Dan started at her like she'd just grown a second head. "He's so good at it!" she defended. "And if he's really Satan, then that means that God exists and we work with the Devil to take down bad guys, and _that_ my friend, makes us badass."

"True," conceded Dan, sharing a grin with her.

"But if he's not…" Ella continued, "Then what the hell happened to turn him from that guy," she gestured at the screen, frozen on Lucifer's face, "Into a dude methoding the devil?"

Dan looked at the image. Really looked, for the first time. When he did, he got it. He saw what Ella was seeing.

"It doesn't even look like him," Ella echoed Dan's thoughts. "I mean, it looks like him – tall, dark, fuck-me-now gorgeous."

Maybe not _all_ Dan's thoughts…

"But it's not really him," Ella sighed. "You know?"

Dan did. "Maybe it was the geese?" he suggested in an attempt to lighten the mood.

They both chuckled. Stared at the screen. Ella sighed. Dan began to fidget uncomfortably.

"I never could resist a tragic backstory," announced Ella. "What else you got?"

Not much," admitted Dan. "Just the videos."

"We can do better than that," Ella told him, cracking her knuckles. "Move over and let the Maestro work."

So Dan did.


	3. Chronicles of the Devil

**Chronicles of the Devil**  
(Chloe has to go…)

Chloe Decker was pissed. Not only was Lucifer being even more Lucifer than normal, thanks to the religious connotations of their current case, but it actually looked like he could potentially be a suspect in that very same case.

After some digging into their victim's background, a series of reviews had come to light. Notably, a rather scathing review of Lux. Normally not a problem, but Lucifer refused to divulge his whereabouts at the time of the murder, insisting that his word should be sufficient evidence of his innocence. Nothing Chloe could say would budge him.

Her erstwhile partner wasn't all that was raising Chloe's blood pressure. It ratcheted up a notch as she caught sight of two people whispering in a corner of the room. Ella and Dan were being weird too.

It had started yesterday with Dan, and by this morning it was obvious that whatever it was, Ella was in on it too. They kept ducking off together and coming back looking guilty. She's almost think they were hooking up together if it wasn't for the way they were treating Lucifer.

Fortunately, her thick-skinned partner hadn't noticed Dan's overly hostile attitude, or the sympathetic looks Ella sent his way, but it was only a matter of time before he did. Chloe really didn't need even more of his attention pulled away from the case. It was hard enough to get him to focus at the best of times. But when he did…

Enough was enough, Chloe decided, snapping herself out of it as Ella and Dan disappeared into her lab. It was time to find out what the two of them were doing. She just hoped to God she wasn't about to burst in on a make out session.

She didn't. Instead, Dan and Ella were huddled around her computer when Chloe walked in. They jumped up and immediately tried to block as many of the screens with their bodies as they could. Chloe folded her arms and levelled her best glare at them.

"What's going on?" she demanded to know.

"Nothing."

"Whaat?" Ella and Dan spoke at the same time. "Girl, you crazy," continued Ella. She winced and looked up at Dan, "Too much?"

"Too much," Chloe confirmed as Dan nodded.

Ella squirmed under Chloe's glare. "We kinda accidentally found something out and ended up totally opening a can of worms," the scientist blurted. "And by we, I totally mean Dan."

"Thanks," muttered Dan.

"She broke me dude," Ella whispered back. "Every woman for herself."

"Well, what is it?" Chloe asked, concerned. Dan and Ella shared a look. "Whatever it is, it's impacting the case. Spit it out."

"Look, Chloe, I'm not sure-" Dan started to say.

Chloe reached the end of her rope, "Just tell me!"

Her ex-husband stepped away from the computer screens in reply, and Chloe felt reality bend around her. Wanting nothing more than to run from the room, she found herself drawing closer.

"Is that…?" she breathed, feeling her throat tighten and tears prickle her eyes.

"Yup," Ella mourned sadly, "Lucifer."

"AKA, Gary Preston." Dan added grimly.

 _Gary_? Chloe's world shattered.

Sometime later, she licked her lips and realised that somehow she was now sitting down. Ella pushed a glass of cold water into her hand, her dark eyes sympathetic. Chloe took it gratefully, wishing for once that it was Lucifer's hipflask.

Lucifer…

With none of her usual ease of long practice, Chloe shoved her roiling emotions to the back of her mind and focussed on the facts. "Tell me about him."

So Dan told her about Gary Preston, born 1974 in Surrey, England. Went to boarding school, grew up, became a chef. Married to a woman apparently known as Kong. Fell off the radar right around the time Lucifer showed up in LA. And all the while a Lucifer she didn't know stared at her from Ella's computer, an expression of exuberant joy on his face that she'd never seen before.

Slowly, carefully, Chloe tried to piece the shards of her reality back into something that made sense as Ella and Dan bickered over their pet theories as to what had happened next (Dan favoured marital murder, while Ella was a firm believer in a tragic holiday followed by a mental breakdown while on holiday). No matter how she tried, Chloe couldn't make sense of it. There were things she'd seen, things she couldn't explain. And where exactly did Amenadiel and Maze fit in? And Charlotte for that matter?

There was only one person who could tell her.

"I have to go," she announced abruptly, her chair scraping on the floor as she stood.

"Chloe," Dan tried to stop her, and she held up her hand to cut him off.

"I-I have to go," she said as she rushed from the room.

Chloe Decker was on a mission.


	4. Satanic Testament

**Satanic Testament**  
(Lucifer protests…)

She didn't realise it was a mistake until she was actually in the penthouse, staring at a shower-fresh Lucifer, black towel wrapped loosely on his hips as he dried his curly hair with another towel. Chloe's mouth went dry and her mind went blank; she realised she had no idea what to say to Gary Preston.

"Detective!" Lucifer greeted her with a delighted grin, "I thought we were meeting at the station. Just a mo, I'll pop some clothes on. Unless you feel like taking some off?"

Chloe stared at him, trying to see past the urbanely hopeful exterior to the slightly dorky and definitely normal man he had once been. She was distracted by a bead of water that slipped from his collarbone, gliding southwards over his chest. It slid down over his abdomen, disappearing into the towel. Chloe blinked.

Lucifer frowned, clearly concerned, "Are you alright, Detective? You seem distracted."

"I, uh, yeah," she managed incoherently. Get a grip, she scolded herself. It's not like it's the first time you've seen him without his clothes on. With an effort, she forced herself to sound normal.

"Go get dressed," she told him. "I'll wait."

"As you wish," agreed Lucifer, still looking at her with concern. "I won't be a minute."

It was a measure of how distracted Chloe was that she failed to notice the way he carefully kept his newly healed back turned away from her as he left the room – a difficult feat in itself. She fretted as she waited for him, chewing her bottom lip as she paced the room with her arms folded protectively. She wondered what she was doing there, tempted to just leave.

Lucifer paused just inside the room, watching her with apprehension. Whatever could have happened to upset the Detective so? Whatever it was, it would be better faced with a drink in his hand, he decided, crossing to the bar to pour one. Most things were.

"Now, Detective, what's got you so on edge?" he asked her, holding up the bottle in a silent invitation to join him. She shook her head, declining the offer. He expected nothing less. "Is it our case?" he guessed. No, obviously not. "The Douche? Your child? I know, your mother!"

"I-" Chloe cleared her throat. "I need to ask you about your alibi for the other night."

Lucifer sighed in exasperation, irritated that she wouldn't simply accept his word on the matter. "Again, Detective?" he asked, swallowing a generous portion of scotch. "I already told you, I was nowhere near Grand Park on the night in question."

"But you won't tell me where you were," Chloe countered, more comfortable now they were on familiar ground.

"Fine!" hissed Lucifer, "If you really must know, I was here. All night."

"Alright, good," Chloe nodded, pulling out her notebook. "Who can confirm that?"

"No-one," Lucifer admitted through gritted teeth. "I was alone, Detective."

Chloe blinked at him. "Alone?" she questioned. "You? All night?"

"Yes," Lucifer bit out. Hoping she wouldn't ask why and force him to admit that he hadn't been able to bring himself to destroy the lingering scent of her on his sheets by overlaying with anyone's but his own, he went on the offensive. "What's the matter? Don't you trust me?"

Chloe looked miserable as she admitted, "No."

Hell had never seemed so close on Earth. Lucifer forgot to breathe as he stared at her in horrified despair. What-how- _who_ had destroyed the Detective's faith in him?

"Detective," he tried to say, forcing himself to say something, _anything_.

"How can I trust someone I don't know?" Chloe interrupted. "I mean, I thought I knew you, but I clearly don't. I can't."

"You know me, Detective," Lucifer hated how pathetic he sounded, pleading for her to take it back. Take it all back.

"Not anymore," Chloe whispered wretchedly, hugging herself.

The words hung between them, tainting the air they breathed. Destroying the bonds forged between them. Unable to be unspoken. Lucifer was the first to look away.

"I see," he said, fiddling with a cufflink as he willed a neutral mask into place. "Might… Might I ask what has changed? It's obviously not the case-"

"Screw the case, Lucifer!" Chloe yelled and immediately regretted it, making an effort to calm down. "Nothing's changed. It's just, I know a few more facts now, and-"

"Facts?" Lucifer reared out of his barstool like a cobra about to strike. "What facts exactly, Detective?"

Chloe flinched back from the agonised bewilderment in his eyes, the only clue to his feelings on his expressionless face. Thinking he'd scared her, Lucifer held his hands up and eased back half a step. Gently, he prompted, "These facts, Detective?"

"I know," Chloe told him softly. "Who you were before you arrived in LA. Where you were living, the restaurant. I even know about your wife!"

"My wife," Lucifer was confused. "Of course you know about Candy, Detective, you met her remember?"

"Not Candy!" Chloe was dangerously close to yelling again. "Your first wife." Lucifer stared blankly at her. "Miranda."

"Who?" asked Lucifer, a slight frown creasing his brow.

"Dammit Lucifer!" Yup, definitely yelling now, "I know the truth, just drop the act for once."

"There's no act to drop, Detective," Lucifer told her grimly, spreading his arms wide. "What you see is what you get."

"That's the problem," Chloe shot back. "I've seen the videos!"

"What videos? Show me," Lucifer commanded.

Chloe snatched her phone from her pocket, fingers trembling as she jabbed at the buttons that would take her to YouTube. "So help me, Lucifer," she muttered angrily. "Right now I've got enough evidence to book you for bigamy. Or should I call you _Gary Preston_?"

From the way she flung the name at him like a weapon, it was clear that she expected him to react in some way. Lucifer just felt even more confused. "You've completely lost me, Detective," he admitted with a smile that was supposed to be soothing, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to explain. Who is Gary Preston?"

Rolling her eyes, Chloe hit play and thrust her phone at him. Taking it, Lucifer watched the video playing and failed to find enlightenment.

"I don't understand," he said, "Is this supposed to be…?"

"You? Yes," Chloe snapped. "Obviously."

"Obviously it's a fake," Lucifer protested, beginning to feel angry. Who had planted this poison in his Detective's mind? "It's been altered to look like me. Not that it looks like me at all." He scoffed, "As if I'd ever wear an orange tie! And with a navy suit no less. Talk about an atrocity to the senses!"

"Lucifer," sighed Chloe, "It's not a fake."

"Says who?" Lucifer was offended. Honestly, who wore navy and orange? Terrible combination.

"Ella."

The glass in Lucifer's hand cracked under the pressure he exerted on it. Curiously, he found himself feeling betrayed by the pious little miscreant. He'd never suspected that she might be behind this heinous villainy. Chloe caught sight of his face.

"Dan asked her to look into it after he found the videos," Chloe wasn't sure why she was defending Ella, but she was.

The glass shattered, spraying scotch everywhere. Neither of them noticed. They had more pressing matters to deal with.

"I might've known Detective Douche would be involved somehow," Lucifer growled ferally, blood dripping from his hand to join the scotch on the floor. "I can't believe you'd trust him over me. He's only your ex-husband and the father of your spawn. I'm your _partner_."

"There's more," Chloe told him, taking her phone back so she could queue up the other videos.

He watched them in silence, growing colder and more distant. She could almost see the walls he was throwing up between himself and his past. Why wouldn't he just admit that she'd finally found out the truth about his past? Was Ella right? Was there some horrific trauma that had caused this delusion that he was the devil? She only wanted to understand, couldn't he see that?

"This is who you think I really am?" he asked eventually, when he'd seen enough. "Some idiotic buffoon who is scared of geese, actually participates in flash mobs, and married a woman who so resembles King Kong that it's her nickname?"

"I…" Put like that, it did sound ridiculous.

"Obviously this worthless piece of human excrement has stolen my human guise for his own nefarious purposes. Dad only knows what it could be. I mean, _Surrey_ , of all places."

And now it was sounding a lot less ridiculous.

"Please, Lucifer," Chloe sighed. "It's time to admit the truth."

"Gladly, Detective," snarled Lucifer, "Except, slight problem, it isn't true! This isn't me." His gaze was scorchingly intense as he continued softly, willing her to believe him, "Detective. I swear it's not me."

Chloe looked up at him sadly, "You need help Luci-" she swallowed and corrected herself sadly, "Gary. Gary," she reminded herself. "Like professional help. And I," she stepped back, away from him, "I need some space."

"Detective," Lucifer protested as she kept backing away. He tried to say don't go, don't leave me, but the words refused to leave his throat as she stared at him like he was a stranger. He barely managed to croak, "Chloe!" as she stepped into the elevator.

Chloe kept her back to him as she pressed the button that would close the doors and take her back to the real world. That way he wouldn't be able to see her crying.

Lucifer stood staring at the elevator until the gashes on his hand began to heal around the glass embedded in it. With a vexed 'tsk' he began to pick the pieces out. Suddenly, the enormity of what had just happened washed over him. Clenching his injured hand tightly, he let out an animalistic roar, kicking out at the nearest available thing and shattering an innocent piano leg.

With a discordant crash, the grand piano toppled. He barely noticed, already moving onto the next target, and then the next and the next…

Untold eons later, he stood in the ruins of his life, chest heaving as he struggled to contain his festering rage. He needed help? _**He**_ needed help! He needed- Actually… the glimmering of a plan began to dawn.

Maybe he did need help after all. And maybe, with help, he could show them who he really was. Yes, that was it! He'd show her he was so much more than she believed.

Lucifer's grin was more of a feral snarl as he headed down to Lux to make the first of a long series of phone calls.

"Darling? Lucifer Morningstar. Time to make good on that IOU."


	5. Exodus Diabolus

**Exodus Diabolus**  
(Enter the therapist…)

Linda looked around the police station with interest. Despite her long association with both Lucifer and Chloe, this was the first time she'd actually visited either of them there. It managed to be modern and sleek despite the piles of paperwork everywhere. Positively hummed with focussed purpose. She liked it, she decided. She could picture Lucifer fitting in well here. Speaking of the Devil…

Spying her quarry, Linda hurried across the room, her heels clacking with every step. Chloe spotted her coming and frowned, her body language closing off as she cut her conversation with a uniformed officer short.

"Linda," Chloe greeted her, "Now really isn't a good time."

"I'll only take a minute of your time," promised Linda, briefly laying her hand on Chloe's forearm. "I want to file a missing person report."

"Oh!" Chloe's posture changed instantly. "I thought… Never mind. Um, any of the-"

"It's Lucifer," Linda interrupted her, watching closely as Chloe's mind jumped tracks again. What on Earth had happened between those two now? "He missed his last appointment, and he's not answering his phone," explained Linda. "He's never missed a session before. He always reschedules. Even when he's in Vegas."

Chloe sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Of course he hasn't been to see you," she muttered more to herself than to Linda. "Look, Linda, I really can't get into it right now but I'm sure wherever he is, he's fine."

"Well, I'm not," Linda disagreed. "Last time he disappeared it was because someone had kidnapped him. And then there's his penthouse…"

"What about the penthouse?" asked Chloe, concerned despite her best intentions.

"It's been trashed," Linda told her. "Not the usual kind of post-orgy trashed. Like, totally, completely trashed."

The two women stared at one another, each imagining Lucifer's stunning apartment the last time they had seen it. Chloe pictured the smooth clean lines with light spilling over polished surfaces. Linda remembered shredded furniture, broken glass, choking plaster dust, and the twisted tangled remains of Lucifer's piano. Chloe's shoulders sagged.

"This is my fault," she admitted, ushering Linda into a nearby interview room. Fortunately it was empty.

"How so?" asked Linda, settling in a chair across the table from Chloe and adjusting her glasses.

"We argued," reluctantly, Chloe took the other chair.

"You and Lucifer argue all the time," Linda pointed out. "This sounds more serious."

"It was," Chloe confessed.

"What caused it?"

Chloe fidgeted in her seat, "I found out, well Dan found out about his past. I-I could've handled it better."

"I see," Linda commented as Chloe stalled, and she thought she did. If Dan had somehow stumbled across proof that Lucifer was the Devil, and Chloe had reacted badly to that knowledge, Lucifer wouldn't handle the rejection well. Suddenly the wanton destruction of the penthouse seemed in character. But Chloe was talking again…

"-He just denied it all! Stuck to this insane delusion that he's the actual Devil, even with the proof staring him in the face. I mean, talk about crazy right?"

Linda raised an eyebrow and Chloe suddenly remembered that she was talking to Lucifer's therapist.

"Chloe, what exactly did Dan find?" Linda really wanted to know. Because it certainly didn't sound like proof of Lucifer's past…

Figuring that seeing was believing, Chloe pulled her phone from her pocket and used it to show Linda the videos Dan had found on YouTube. Linda watched them without comment, her face giving none of her thoughts away. When she was finished, she laid the phone on the table between them and looked directly at Chloe.

"And you believe this man is Lucifer?"

"His name is Gary Preston," Chloe told her, leaning forward in her chair. "He was born in Surrey, England. No siblings. Both parents still alive and married. His dad's a doctor," she began to tick items off on her fingers; "He was in the Air Cadets. Took a decade-long gap year to travel the world. Opened his own restaurant. Got married." Chloe had run out of fingers, "And, oh yeah, he dropped off the face of the Earth right around the time Lucifer appeared in LA!"

"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" asked Linda. She made a moue of distaste, "Doesn't sound much like our Lucifer, does it?"

It really didn't. Chloe stared at Linda, speechless. This certainly wasn't the kind of reaction that she'd expected from the diminutive blonde. Slowly, Chloe slid her phone back towards her, wondering if she'd made a mistake. Linda seemed to be suggesting that Lucifer _wasn't_ Gary Preston. But Chloe had been certain…

"I want to be absolutely clear that I am asking you this as your friend, not as Lucifer's therapist," Linda said seriously. "In all the time you've known him, what is Lucifer's one defining characteristic?"

"His appalling taste in women?" Chloe half-heartedly joked, and wished she hadn't when Linda levelled a stern look her way.

"Lucifer doesn't lie," Linda pointed out. "He might be able to find the loophole in every promise he makes, he might not tell you everything you want him to, heck he might not even speak at all. But when he does speak? Lucifer _always_ tells the truth."

Chloe tried to think of one occasion when her partner had lied to her, and suddenly realised that other than the whole devil issue, she couldn't. Sure he said a lot of really weird stuff at times, usually due to his insistence that he was in fact Satan, but Lucifer never lied. Not to her, not to anyone. In fact – she smiled a little – he frequently overshared.

Noting the smile, Linda eased back in her chair. "Have you ever heard of the doppelganger theory?" she asked, offering a rational explanation if Chloe needed one. Judging by how frayed the normally tough-as-nails detective looked, she probably did. "It's the theory that everyone has a double, someone who looks exactly like them. People used to believe that seeing your doppelganger was a bad omen, but nowadays with social media sites like Wobble, more and more people are finding their double."

"So you're saying that this isn't Lucifer?" Chloe looked dazed.

"All I'm suggesting, as a friend," Linda stressed, "is that you consider opening your mind to the possibility of alternative explanations."

Chloe felt like she'd just been hit with a two by four. Repeatedly. If this was therapy, why the hell did Lucifer do it? "Yeah, sure," she agreed. "I will."

"And that missing person report?" pressed Linda.

"I'll put out a BOLO," Chloe promised.

"Thank you." Linda smiled sweetly, her entire demeanour changing suddenly, "Are we still on for Friday? Maze'll be back and I could really do with a Tribe night out."

"Oh, uh, I'm not sure." Chloe said uncertainly, her mind too full of Lucifer to easily cope with Linda's switch from therapist to friend. Just how bad was his apartment anyway? "We're pretty busy at the moment. Heatwave's brought out the crazies."

"I'd better let you get back to it then," Linda said, rising to her feet.

"Yeah, um," Chloe stood. "Thanks, I guess?"

"That's what friends are for, right?" Linda hugged her, because she looked like she really needed one. "Friday. One drink."

"It's never just one when it's the Tribe," Chloe pointed out.

"True," conceded Linda, "But it's much more fun that way!"

Smiling, they went their separate ways; Chloe back to her desk to send out a BOLO for a certain missing man, and Linda to her car. As she walked, Linda checked her watch – half an hour before her next appointment. Speeding up a little, she pulled out her phone and fired off a quick text before calling Amenadiel.

"Hey, are you free for lunch later? There's something you need to see."


	6. Miranda

Sorry for the delay in posting... work's been absolutely hectic lately and I've found myself hovering on the verge of a breakdown. But it's all good. I'm fine. Honest.

Have a chapter.

 **Miranda**  
(Miranda meets the Devil…)

Gary's. It really was a spectacularly awful name, mused the Devil as he stood across the road from his foe's lair. Clearly showing a complete lack of imagination (unlike the joke shop next door, entitled 'You-Need-Us'). A suspicious lack of imagination...

Crossing the road, he entered the empty restaurant and contemplated leaving again as he got his first look at the decidedly average décor. At least there was a bar… He was helping himself to a scotch when the door opened again, and so he didn't trouble to turn around.

"Gary! Gary! Gary!" _That_ got his attention. Carefully, Lucifer turned to the woman calling out the imposter's name.

"Gary! Gary! Gar-aargh!" The woman screamed, recoiling as she accused him, "You're not Gary!"

"Congratulations," Lucifer toasted her with his stolen scotch. "You seem to be the first to gasp the fact." He raked a contemptuous glance up and down her extreme length and sneered, "Kong, I presume?"

He regretted his cruelty as she immediately hunched over, turning from an intriguing woman into an ungainly one. Taking a sip of his drink to cover the guilt he felt at inflicting potentially unwarranted punishment (just because she was married to the charlatan, it didn't mean that she was privy to his nefarious schemes, Lucifer reasoned. Did it?) he regarded her over the rim of his glass as she rallied.

"I'm sorry, and you are please?"

"Lucifer," he told her, watching for her reaction. "Morningstar."

She scoffed, "No, really please and thank you."

This was getting tiresome. Would no-one believe he was who he said he was? Lucifer pulled his passport from his breast pocket and offered it to her, "I assure you, I am he."

"Really?" she asked, taking his passport and checking it. "Wow! Did you parents just hate you or something?"

"Something like that," Lucifer agreed glibly, taking his passport back and tucking it away.

"I'm looking for Gary," she announced bluntly. "Have you seen him?"

"Not yet," but when he did…

"Ohhh, where is he?" fretted Kong. "We're going to be late if he doesn't get a move on. He's never late. I'm always late," she confided. "He never complains but I can tell it drives him nuts. He twitches. Which is why I made sure the children were all ready on time and now he's not even here!"

" _All_ the children" Lucifer asked faintly, wondering what exactly he'd walked into. His identity thief must have the patience of a saint to willingly live with this whirlwind of a woman.

"Yes, and that's not easy with seven children under seven, let me tell you!"

Seven! Lucifer choked on his scotch. Kong noticed his reaction and grimaced.

"My mother was slipping fertility drugs in my tea," she explained. "Of course, even she regretted it when we had two sets of twins in two years."

Despite himself, Lucifer was hooked. This was the most diabolically ingenious punishment he'd heard of in eons. And he'd had no hand in it! Kong continued to talk about her numerous spawn, but Lucifer tuned her out as he considered what this latest development meant for his plans.

He'd come here fully intending to cleave Gary Preston's head from his shoulders so that he could present it to the Detective. Thereby proving conclusively that he was exactly who he'd been telling her he was. But now… that was starting to sound a lot like mercy. What better revenge than to simply leave him to suffer his multitude of spawn in this soul-crushingly mediocre life? Of course, he'd still need to prove to the Detective that he wasn't the poor bastard she thought he was…

The door opened again, and the sound of children crying jolted him from his thoughts. A _lot_ of children crying.

"Miranda!" wailed a tiny woman, pushing a stroller into the room. Four more children were tied to the pushchair, while another two held onto it. "I can't do it! You said you only be a minute!"

Lucifer approved of the leashes. He eyed the two untethered ones with justified wariness. As soon as the boys were inside the room, they let go of the buggy and proceeded to run wildly around the room, emitting random whoops as they played some incomprehensible game. The restrained ones cried all the harder. Lucifer downed his scotch and poured himself another.

"Never mind that now," the diminutive blonde interrupted the recital of her friend's woes as she noticed Lucifer. "Who is that? He's just like Gary but _better!"_

"Is he?" asked Miranda, tipping her head on one side as she considered Lucifer. "Is he really though?"

"Definitely!" Flipping her hair back, the petite woman cast a come-hither look Lucifer's way, "Hi. I'm Stevie."

"Lucifer," he introduced himself with a reflexive smirk.

"Like the devil?" Stevie asked breathlessly.

"I don't think he's the actual devil," Miranda told her. "He's got a passport."

"I don't care if you are the devil," Stevie said earnestly. "You can take me anywhere."

Lucifer smiled down at her, "I know, but it's sweet of you to say it, darling."

"Ew," scoffed Miranda, "Gross."

Lucifer's phone vibrated to let him know he had a message, and he pulled it out to check if it was the Detective. _I know about Gary Preston. Call me. Linda._ Sighing, he slipped his phone back in his pocket. He'd reschedule his appointment later.

When he looked back up the two women were bickering and all the spawn were unleashed. They were everywhere. Lucifer downed his second inferior scotch and seriously considered just leaving and going straight back to LA. At least Detective Decker only had the one offspring.

 _Miranda's phone rang and her finger shot up, cutting Stevie off mid-sentence. "Bear with," she said triumphantly before answering it. "Hello? Yes, this is she. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh no! What-where? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Thank you muchly for calling." Hanging up the phone, she turned back to Stevie with an expression of amazed dismay, "That was the police. Gary's been arrested!"_

"What?" exclaimed Stevie.

"Why?" Lucifer wanted to know.

"Something about being wanted by the LAPD," Miranda said distractedly as she gathered her belongings. "Stevie, I'm sorry, I've got to go."

"Miranda, no!" protested Stevie. "Can't you call your mother?"

It was too late. Miranda had gone. Stevie slowly turned to Lucifer, her eyes large and appealing.

"Lovely as you are, I believe that's my cue," Lucifer excused himself, following in Miranda's footsteps.

"But, but, it's not fair!" Stevie stamped her foot, and seriously considered bursting into tears. But then, the children might join in. Best not.


	7. Gary

**Gary**  
(Devil & Doppelganger. Face to face at last…)

Checking the time on his phone, Gary Preston sped up. If he didn't hurry, he was going to be late. Not that it would matter if he was, because Miranda and the kids were bound to be running late, but at least he could help her get them ready if he was on time. If he was really lucky, they might even make the actual appointment time, not the time he'd told Miranda that he'd booked… Wrapped in his own thoughts, Gary failed to notice the two police officers moving purposefully towards him.

"Excuse me, sir."

Finding a policeman blocking his way, Gary blinked. "Can I help you, officer?" he asked.

"Lucifer Morningstar?" asked the policeman.

"Sorry, what?" Gary said, not understanding the question.

"Are you," the policeman repeated slowly, "Lucifer Morningstar?"

Gary laughed. Miranda was gonna love this. "I'm definitely not the devil," he told the policeman. "My name's Gary Preston, and I'm running late for an appointment."

"What do you think?" the policeman said to someone behind Gary. He turned to see another, much larger, policeman looming behind him. Gary flinched away.

"Looks like the guy in the AWP," confirmed the larger officer.

"What?" Gary was completely flummoxed. "Wait…"

"ID?" the first policeman asked Gary.

He sighed in relief. ID, of course. Patted his pockets. Patted a bit more. Checked again. "I, ah, I seem to have left it at my restaurant," he admitted.

"Convenient," commented PC Large.

PC Little agreed, "Lucifer Morningstar, you are under arrest-"

"No!" protested Gary. "Let me at least call my wife."

"You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say may be used in evidence against you."

"I'm not the devil!"

 **}:)**

 _Meanwhile, in LA…_

"Jesus," Ella breathed softly, taking in the full scope of the damage.

"I know," Chloe agreed, picking her way through the rubble. "Careful there."

"A _bomb_ would've caused less damage," Ella assessed.

"You think you can figure out what caused it?"

"I'll give it my best shot," promised Ella. "I'll have to work on it at home though. I'm swamped at work."

"Thanks," Chloe said gratefully.

"Hey, no problem," Ella waved it off. "He's my friend too."

"Where do you want to start?" asked Chloe.

Looking around, Ella picked a spot at random and the two women began a full analysis of the scene. Methodically, they worked their way through Lucifer's destroyed apartment, looking for any clue as to what or who had done it. It was in the bedroom that things got really weird.

Lucifer's bed was pristine. Untouched. If Chloe hadn't known how obsessive he was about clean sheets, she would've sworn it was made up with the same linen that had been on it on her birthday. The night she had slept in it.

Chloe turned away so Ella wouldn't see her blush. Deliberately, she focussed on the investigation. On finding out who had done this to Lucifer's home. On finding her partner.

 **}:)**

 _Back in England…_

After what felt like days in police custody, but was probably only hours, Gary was almost ready to admit to anything. Sensing weakness, PC Little leaned in for the kill. The door to the interview room opened and Gary's heart leapt as a familiar face walked through.

"Miranda," he exclaimed, reaching his cuffed hands out to her. "Thank God! They wouldn't let me call you-"

"Ugh!" exclaimed an unfamiliar voice as a second familiar face walked through the door behind Gary's wife. "Must you bring Him into it? Far better to thank me. I paid for the taxi after all."

PC Large's jaw dropped. Gary stared at the stranger with his face. Only Miranda and the man seemed unfazed, she fussing over Gary and him continuing his monologue. "And I slipped him fifty quid to break the speed limit," he reminisced.

"Where the hell did you come from?" PC little managed to pull himself together enough to demand.

"An apt question," conceded the man, hands in pockets. "Lately, Los Angeles. Before that?" he grinned mirthlessly, "Well, the less said about that the better."

"You're Lucifer Morningstar," realised Gary. "You bastard!"

Gary launched himself at Lucifer but snagged halfway on the desk. Belatedly, PCs Little and Large remembered that they probably shouldn't let one suspect assault another, even if they did look identical, and thumped him back down in his seat.

"Now, now, Gary," chided Lucifer, unruffled. "You don't mind if I call you Gary? Seeing as you ruined my life, I think it only fair that you also get to experience the joys of mistaken identity."

The devil turned to the two police officers, "I understand that I'm a wanted man. Whilst it's true I am greatly in demand, judging by Gary's predicament, I can foresee it becoming tiresome quickly. Tell me, who do I need to speak to about getting that changed?" The police officers exchanged a look and Lucifer tsked impatiently, "Quickly now, I haven't got all day!" PC Large pointed and Lucifer inclined his head to him, "Thank you!"

The two officers of the law stared at each other as Lucifer swept out of the room.

"Hey, wait," said PC Large.

"You can't go bursting in on the Superintendent!" protested Little as they rushed after him.

"What about me?" yelled Gary. The door shut with a click that sounded ominously like a lock engaging. "Miranda," he said quietly. "What's going on?"

"I wish I knew," his wife sympathised, rubbing soothing circles on his back. "I just don't understand it, Gary. He looks nothing like you!"

Gary stared at her.

 **}:)**

Lucifer seemed less brittle when he reappeared, taking PC Little's seat as though he owned it. He seemed oddly at home sitting across an interview table. Gone were the sharp edges of his personality, replaced by a dangerous sense of purpose.

"Right," he said, "Now that's been taken care of, let's start over, shall we? Tell me, both of you, what do you desire most in the world?"

"Gary," Miranda replied promptly. "And, if Gary's okay with it, maybe you too?" She squeaked, covering her mouth as she realised what she'd just admitted.

"Boringly normal," Lucifer commented, "As expected." He turned all of his attention to his double, "And you, Gary?"

"Miranda," Gary confessed, "Always and forever." Lucifer leaned forward and beads of sweat broke out on Gary's brow, "And, if she really wants to, you too."

Lucifer leaned back, grimacing, "Well that's disappointingly easy. There must be something else you want? Anything at all…?"

"A lie in…." sighed the parents of seven children. Miranda added mournfully, "Just one."

"I think we can manage more than one," Lucifer informed them, adjusting his cuff. "How does a month's paid holiday and twenty-four hour childcare sound?"

Miranda sighed longingly, "Heavenly."

"What's the catch?" Gary asked suspiciously.

"No catch," denied Lucifer. "All I ask is that you do me one small favour in return."

He outlined exactly what they'd have to do to earn their vacation, and they stared disbelievingly at him. Lucifer fidgeted as the silence stretched on, wondering when they were going to speak.

"That's it?" asked Gary. "Just that?"

"That's all I ask," Lucifer promised. "I swear."

Gary looked at Miranda. Miranda looked at Gary. Lucifer could tell that they were having a silent conversation, he just couldn't understand what they were saying.

"Let's do it!" exclaimed Miranda suddenly. "Let's have a proper honeymoon!"

"Not the Hamilton Lodge again?" Gary had to double-check.

"Not the Hamilton Lodge," promised Miranda. "Crumbs! I'll have to get a passport."

"Mine expired last year," Gary realised with dismay. As one, they turned to Lucifer.

He sighed, "Who do I need to talk to?"


	8. Genesis, Part One

**A/N**

How good was this week's episode?!

Part two tomorrow... hopefully!

 **Genesis, Part One**  
(Just another word for beginnings…)

Chloe was having the week from hell. An avalanche of cases had the entire department snowed under as they all worked double-time, frantically juggling multiple investigations. Her housemate wasn't speaking to her, which was freaking her daughter out. Tribe night had been a disaster. And Lucifer…. Her stomach clenched as she thought about the sanity-threatening mess of crazy that was her partner. Lucifer was still missing.

She'd had Ella go over every inch of his apartment before Amenadiel had shown up with a host of contractors. The forensic scientist's conclusion? Most if not all of the damage had been caused by Lucifer himself.

Given the level of strength necessary to inflict some of the worst damage, it was a chilling thought. It had seriously disturbed Ella, who was pale and withdrawn as she struggled to provide leads for a multitude of cases. Even Chloe, who had once seen Lucifer throw a man through plate glass like he was swatting a fly, was shaken by it.

With no leads, and bogged under with work, Chloe had barely begun to investigate Lucifer's disappearance. But she wasn't giving up. She'd put out a BOLO for him both here and, on a whim, in England. Unis had tracked his car to the long-stay parking at the airport this morning, and as soon as she was finished she was heading over there to check it out.

She really hoped he'd only gone to Vegas.

Dan kept telling her that it wasn't her fault that Lucifer was having a mental breakdown, and that he was probably just giving her the space she'd asked for. Chloe knew better.

Lucifer was never one to give her space when she needed it. Those were the times when he crowded into her life, insisting on insinuating himself into every aspect of her existence. It was when she tried to draw closer and bridge the distance between them that he pulled away from her.

Perverse bastard.

Amenadiel had seemed serenely confident that his brother would be back. He'd had a strange light in his eyes when he solemnly told her that Lucifer wouldn't be able to stay away. That he never had. But Chloe couldn't help but remember that last time Lucifer had gone missing it was because someone had arranged for him to be kidnapped and dumped in a shallow desert grave. They'd never found out who was responsible…

Chloe sniffed, wishing YouTube had never been invented. If something had happened to Lucifer because of her… she'd never forgive herself. Neither would Maze. Or Trixie. Or Linda. Ella might…

She missed him. She missed his insight, his irresistible energy, his irreverent sense of humour. She even missed his many, many references to his sexual escapades (although there'd been less of those lately), and the constant innuendo. If he was here now, watching her fighting not to cry, he'd probably say something like-

"Why, Detective, I didn't know you cared."

Convinced that the velvety smooth voice curling its way around her spine like smoke was another symptom of her impending insanity, Chloe continued trying to focus on the lab report in front of her.

Lucifer cleared his throat and tried again, "Very well. I had hoped that the Be On the Look-Out you issued meant that you were concerned by my absence." Slowly, Chloe swivelled her chair around to stare at Lucifer as he brushed a speck of lint from his sleeve, continuing, "However it apparently means that you still want to arrest me for crucifixion. Well, go ahead, Detective. But, before you do-"

"Lucifer," whispered Chloe, and hurled herself at him. He barely had time to brace himself before she was fiercely hugging him.

"Well, that's more like it," the Devil murmured contentedly, wrapping his arms around her. "It's lovely to see you too, Detective. Although I must say, you look dreadful!"

Chloe chuckled humourlessly, moving away before things could get any more awkward between them. "Thanks," she said dryly, pushing her hair out of her face.

"I mean it," Lucifer insisted, gesturing for her to sit again. "What on Earth has happened in my absence? Is the child unwell?"

"No, Trixie's fine," Chloe reassured him, unable to stop drinking in the sight of him, sitting on the edge of her desk. "It's just, you know, work."

"Speaking of," Lucifer lit up in excitement, "I had a thought about our case. Wasn't one of our victim's first articles an exceedingly acerbic review of a restaurant?"

"Yeah, I think so," said Chloe, wondering where he was going with this.

"Well I happened to notice that one of the Grand Park groundsmen was eating a particularly revolting combination of chicken and anchovies for lunch. I think it merits further investigation."

"That's your evidence?" Chloe asked sceptically. "A sandwich? That's it?"

"Of course not, Detective. There's more," Lucifer assured her. "The deviant in question also happened to be ginger."

Chloe laughed. She couldn't help it. Lucifer leaned back, a satisfied smile on his lips as he regarded her.

"That's better," he approved. "Now, there's someone I'd like you to meet…"

There was a thud and an 'oof' as two people fell around the partition of Chloe's desk. Chloe stared in disbelief as they struggled to untangle themselves and stand. No way…

"Oops," said the woman, shuffling her feet.

"Sorry, Lucifer," the man apologised.

"Lucifer," Chloe was proud of how calm she sounded. "Is that…?"

"Gary Preston," he introduced himself, stepping forward to shake her hand. "You must be Detective Decker. Lucifer's told us all about you."

"Has he?" Chloe said faintly, glancing up at her grinning partner. He was actually enjoying this, damn him!

"Hi, I'm Gary's wife," she waved at Chloe. "Miranda. Not Kong. Never Kong."

"Nice to meet you, Miranda," Chloe told her before turning back to Lucifer. "Can we talk? Privately?"

"Of course, Detective," Lucifer agreed immediately. "Have fun you two," he instructed before following her towards an interview room.

"Well, that wasn't awkward at all," Miranda commented as she and Gary watched them walking away. "Nope. Not one bit."

"Still," said Gary. "Free holiday."

"Free holiday!" remembered Miranda, cheering up.

"Fancy making the most of it?"

"What, here?"

"Why not?"

"Naughty! Oh… go on then!"

 **}:)**

Lucifer closed the door behind them and turned to face the Detective. Waited for her apology. Surely now he'd handed her proof that he wasn't secretly Gary boring Preston, she'd forget this nonsense about not trusting him and they could go back to working together again.

"Did you seriously drag that poor couple all the way from England, just to prove a point to me?" demanded Chloe.

Lucifer blinked, "I'm sorry, is that a trick question? Of course I bloody did!"

"Why-" Chloe started to ask and stopped herself. "You're Lucifer, of course that's why you'd pull a stunt like this!"

"Well, at least we finally agree on that point," Lucifer interrupted what was gearing up to be a perfectly good rant. "You said you didn't know me Detective," he reminded her coldly, flashing a quick insincere smile. "And you wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't that mind-numbingly average mundane out there. So clearly, I needed to show you that I am who I've always been. Your partner," Lucifer shifted uncomfortably, straightening his tie. "If you'll have me?"

"Of course you're my partner, Lucifer," Chloe sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you about the videos, I should've handled it better. But, even you have to admit that the resemblance is uncanny!"

"Is it? asked Lucifer, "Is it really though?"

"Well, yeah," Chloe said in a 'duh' tone of voice. "He looks just like you!"

"As you say, Detective," Lucifer humoured her.

"I was really worried about you, Lucifer," Chloe confessed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Lucifer brightened. "I thought that maybe, the Sinnerman…"

Lucifer straightened, glancing around the empty room with trepidation. Was there someone behind the one-way mirror? "Yes, well," he said hurriedly. "As you can see, I'm fine. Not a scratch."

He spread his arms wide, inviting her to look for herself. Chloe punched him in the gut.

"Ow!" complained Lucifer, curling over his injured abdomen, "That hurt!"

"Stop disappearing then!" Chloe told him. "Is it that hard to pick up the phone and call?"

"You didn't call me either," Lucifer pointed out.

"I left you like a hundred messages!" exclaimed Chloe.

"Wha- you did?" asked Lucifer, frowning. He pulled out his phone and checked it. He had received a lot of calls from an unlisted number… but the Detective's number was saved… "Oh," said Lucifer. He cleared his throat, "It appears I owe you an apology, Detective. I seem to have deleted your number from my phone."

"You?" Chloe was dumbfounded. "Deleted?"

"It appears so," he admitted. "In my defence, I wasn't the best frame of mind when we last met."

"I saw your apartment," Chloe acknowledged and Lucifer cringed slightly. "Lucifer, what happened to it?"

"Me," confessed Lucifer. "I did it."

He watched her very closely for her reaction, but there wasn't one. She just accepted his word for it. No protests about how it was impossible for him to punch through plaster, or twist girders. She wasn't ignoring it either, like she normally did when he mentioned doing something she thought impossible. That was new.

Chloe nodded thoughtfully, "You can't do that every time we fight. It'll get expensive."

"But it keeps Amenadiel from brooding," Lucifer justified.

Chloe chuckled, moving closer to him. "I missed you," she confessed softly.

"Yes well," Lucifer began to feel nervous as the Detective eased into his personal space. What was she doing? Was she about to hit him again? "I'm afraid my absence was necessary, Detective. I needed you to understand that when I tell you something, it's the truth. Always and forever."

Caught in his spell, Chloe swayed closer. "Who are you?" she whispered, holding his dark eyes with her own. "Really? What do you want?"

"Lucifer Morningstar, Satan Incarnate, Prince of Darkness, former Lord of Hell," Lucifer's eyes flicked down to her lips before returning to hers. "At your service, Detective."

Chloe examined her recently fractured reality with fresh eyes and found that the pieces finally all fit. Her world snapped back into focus, with Lucifer standing in the centre of it all. She believed him. God help her, she believed him.

"Okay," breathed the Detective and kissed him.

Lucifer went rigid with shock. He wasn't- He couldn't…! He surrendered, pulling her into his arms and returning the embrace with interest. Thoughts of thwarting his Dad's plans flew out of his head. All his other thoughts flew after them and only one thing mattered. Chloe Decker was kissing him.


	9. Genesis, Part Two

**A/N**

I'm so sorry! I promised a next day update three days ago and then promptly got distracted by life. I can only apologise and chastise life for getting in the way of far more important things ;)

This chapter (heck almost the entire fic!) was written before Sinnerman came out. After watching the episode repeatedly this week (seriously, how good was that ep?!), I've made the decision not to delete the final paragraph of this chapter to make the it fit with canon. Instead, I'm officially declaring this fic an Alternate Universe set just after Chloe Does Lucifer.

 **Genesis, Part Two**

Why did everyone always treat his pens like their personal stash, Dan wondered bitterly as he trudged to the stationary cupboard for the third time that week. He'd tried everything short of putting a mousetrap in his drawer to stop it. Maybe, he should try that next. Lucifer would think it was a great idea.

Dan felt guilty as he thought about the missing club owner. Watching Chloe coming apart at the seams as her partner went missing yet again, he'd found himself wishing that he'd never found the videos in the first place. He just hoped that Lucifer came back again, because he got the definite impression that his ex-wife would never forgive him if he didn't. Neither would his daughter.

Pushing the door to the stationary cupboard open, Dan came to an abrupt halt on the threshold as he caught sight of the couple already enjoying the facilities. He blinked.

"Do you mind?" demanded Lucifer as Kong shrieked and tried to cover her breasts.

"S-sorry," stammered Dan, stepping back and closing the door.

He blinked again. Had he really just seen…? Dan opened the door to double-check and Kong screamed again.

"Mate!" Lucifer objected.

"Sorry!" Dan called, closing the door again.

Yup. Lucifer was back.

Man, Chloe was going to be pissed. Dan stood outside the stationary cupboard, trying not to hear the noises coming from it as he debated the pros and cons of giving her a heads up. Eventually deciding that she was more like to shoot the message than the messenger, he went in search of her.

Pointed in the direction of one of the interview rooms by a colleague, Dan threw the door open and walked in. Only to stumble over his own feet as Lucifer and Chloe sprang apart. It was obvious what they'd been doing; Chloe's lips were swollen and her hair was a mess, while Lucifer looked unusually dishevelled.

"But," said Dan.

"Oh, hey, Dan," Chloe tried to pull off casual and failed.

"But," said Dan, pointing at Lucifer.

"Did you want something Daniel?" Lucifer asked absently, staring at Chloe as though she had just lit the stars and the sun.

"But," said Dan, looking at Chloe.

She blushed and went on the defensive, "What do you want, Dan?"

"But," said Dan, pointing his thumb behind him.

"Oh dear," sighed Lucifer, paying attention to him for the first time since he'd entered the room. "Is he broken?"

"Dan?" Chloe asked, concerned. "What's wrong?"

"But-"

"Oh, I think I know," Lucifer grinned evilly. "If I'm not mistaken here, our dear Detective Douche has just met a certain Gary Preston."

"Y-You're not…" Dan managed.

"No, Douche," Lucifer relished the word, tucking his hands in his pockets as he leaned forwards. "I'm not."

"Wow," Dan sagged. "He looks just like you."

"If you say so," Lucifer dismissed the idea.

"Listen, dude," Dan shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, okay. I shouldn't have made such a big deal about some videos."

"Forgotten, if not forgiven," Lucifer told him. "It all worked out for the best. Gary and Miranda got a much needed vacation, and the Detective…" glancing over at Chloe, nibbling on her bottom lip, Lucifer trailed off. Chloe smiled shyly at him.

"Right," said Dan, beginning to feel like a third wheel. "About Preston and Kong."

"Miranda," Chloe corrected him. "She prefers Miranda."

"Just… Don't go in the stationary cupboard," warned Dan.

"Ooh," murmured Lucifer. "Naughty!"

Chloe threw Lucifer a speculative look and Dan beat a hasty retreat.

"Now," purred Chloe, "Where were we?"

"Detective," warned Lucifer, fending her off as she slipped up to him. "You don't really want to do this."

"Oh, don't I?" Chloe teased, running her hand up his arm.

"No," insisted Lucifer, looking miserable. "You don't."

That certainly wasn't the reaction she was expecting! Seeing how serious he was, Chloe eased off, studying him closely. "Okay, she said evenly. "I'll bite. Why?"

"Because you, my dear Detective, were put on this Earth for one reason and one reason only," Lucifer told her, too flustered by her nearness to edit himself. "And I will not allow _this_ ," he gestured back and forth between the two of them, "to be all that defines you."

"It isn't," Chloe said simply. "Lucifer, I'm a mom. I'm a cop. I'm a member of the Tribe. I'm your partner. I'm all of that and more. Whatever _this_ is," she copied his gesture. "It won't change any of that."

"Well of course you'd say that, wouldn't you?" cried Lucifer. "Because you, Chloe Jane Decker, are a bloody miracle." Chloe went very still as Lucifer continued to rant, "Placed in my path by my dear old Dad, as part of one of his twisted little games. Very clever, Dad! Make a woman who's immune to my powers, who turns me mortal whenever I'm near her, then sit back and laugh when I fall in love with her! Is that it, Dad?"

"You-you love me?" whispered Chloe, her eyes wide.

Lucifer stared at her. Shit!

"Lucifer?"

"Detective, I-" Lucifer said hoarsely. Chloe stared at him, refusing to allow him to evade the question. Lucifer sighed, hanging his head as he confessed, "I do."

And they were kissing again. Long languid moments where he could learn what made her sigh, and what made her breath catch in her throat. Time slipped away and Lucifer revelled in the now. Until Chloe pushed him away.

"What do you mean, 'turns you mortal'?"

"Yes, well, that's the miracle, isn't it?" Lucifer explained bitterly. "How you make the invulnerable vulnerable."

"So, you're saying," Chloe said slowly, "That when you're not around me, you're…?"

"Literally bulletproof, yes Detective," Lucifer informed her. Chloe nodded as she reconciled the information with Lucifer's behaviour since she first met him. Lucifer frowned down at her. "Is it just me or are you taking this awfully well?" he asked her. "If I didn't know better I'd say you actually-"

"I believe you," Chloe told him.

"-Believed me," Lucifer finished. He stared at her, "You-you believe me?"

"I do," Chloe said simply. "Who you are, your Dad," she glanced upwards, "Amenadiel, Maze. All of it. I mean," she shrugged, winding her arms around his neck, "I don't necessarily understand it all, and I'm definitely going to need more information about this whole miraculous gift from God thing, but I believe you, Lucifer Morningstar. And I love you too."

Behind the one-way glass, alone in the darkened observation room, Lieutenant Pierce watched the embracing couple with detached interest. Fascinating…


End file.
